Apr. 14, 2024

Series: AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART    4-14-24

Overcoming Relational Barriers 

(1 Samuel 26) 

The STAGES of the CYCLE of ABUSE:

Stage 1: ______________ BUILDING

1 Samuel 26:1 The Ziphites went to Saul at Gibeah and said, “Is not David hiding on the hill of Hakilah?” 

• We always have a ________________ of TAKING REVENGE or MAKING AMENDS

A BARRIER TO MAKING AMENDS:

SELF-___________________

Romans 12:17-19 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.                

Stage 2: INCIDENT of ________________

(Physical/Verbal)

1 Samuel 26:2–4 ² So Saul went down to the Desert of Ziph, with his three thousand select Israelite troops, to search there for David. ³ Saul made his camp beside the road on the hill of Hakilah… but David stayed in the wilderness. When he saw that Saul had followed him there, ⁴ he sent out scouts and learned that Saul had definitely arrived.

A BARRIER TO MAKING AMENDS:

 SELF-___________________

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

• Wrong Thinking: We think we’ve got to ________________ the heart when we CONFRONT the issue.

Stage 3: R______________________

1 Samuel 26:21 ²¹ Then Saul said, “I have sinned. Come back, David my son. Because you considered my life precious today, I will not try to harm you again. Surely I have acted like a fool and have been terribly wrong.”

• REMEMBER: The Stages ______________ themselves Over and Over again in Abusive Relationships.

A BARRIER TO MAKING AMENDS:

SELF-___________________

Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. 

Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 

• TWO WORDS: CONVICTION (Good) & ________________ (Bad)

Stage 4: C________________

1 Samuel 26:25 ²⁵ Then Saul said to David, “May you be blessed, David my son; you will do great things and surely triumph.” So David went on his way, and Saul returned home.

BARRIERS TO MAKING AMENDS: 

SELF-___________________

• It’s Difficult to Know when to Forgive Others and when to ________________ Yourself!

Proverbs 4:23–25 ²³ Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. ²⁴ Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. ²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

HELPFUL HINTS TO HEAL BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS:

1. DO IT P___________________. 

2. DO IT P___________________. (Matthew 5:23-24) 

3. DO IT P___________________.

4. DO IT P___________________. 

5. DO IT P___________________.

Proverbs 14:9-10 ⁹ Fools mock at making amends for sin… ¹⁰ Each heart knows its own bitterness…